Prosperity Thoughts Thanksgiving 2008

Prosperity Thoughts

As our holiday Thanksgiving is nearly upon us, it is natural for us to take a moment and look at all that we have for which to be grateful. The tradition of Thanksgiving is to look at all the good things we have received and remember how blessed we are with loving friends and family, good health and our prosperity. I am not saying that we are all naturally grateful because that has not been my experience - I personally had to work through a lot of negativity before I found a grateful heart. My point is that it is a lot easier to be grateful for those things we enjoy and savor than it is to be grateful for those things we did not/do not enjoy.

I would like to suggest that this Thanksgiving season we take a moment and see if we can be grateful for those rough patches on our path. One helpful tool I have used is to remember that is our choice how to give each event in our life meaning. We can choose to live from regret and disappointment for those things we did not enjoy or we can choose to find a blessing in each. You see, it is Spiritual Law that there is always a blessing in every situation and circumstance. Many people are unwilling to look for this blessing and thus never find it. Those that do, find a profound sense of gratitude and compassion in their hearts.

AA captures this sentiment in one of its “promises”. The AA Big Book promises every alcoholic that no matter how far down the scale they personally have gone; as they move forward on their spiritual path and in their sobriety they will come to see how their experience can benefit another alcoholic. Compassion and empathy for another is a vital trait for all healers and lovers, and one way it is acquired is through finding the blessing in difficult situations.

However, for some of us, the process of acquiring compassion for others as a result of our own difficulties is too abstract. It seems like spiritual slight of hand- we want some direct benefit for ourselves. The adage that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger tends to speak to this. A few months ago, I talked with someone who shared a whole litany of bad things that were going on in their life, recent divorce, no active romantic interest in spite of diligent efforts, poor physical health, no money to live on, unable to find any job, terrible economy and this only touches the surface of their perspective on their life situation. The only good thing that they could find in all of this was that it finally brought them to a willingness to look at their relationship with God. Now, those of you that are advanced students on the spiritual path know that this is quite a blessing in itself, but for my friend, it seemed small solace. Still, this one single blessing was enough to give hope to continue looking for blessings for one additional day. And sure enough, one day at a time, little miracles and blessings occurred and now my friend can see a future.

Let’s agree though, we do not really want to face utter desolation to find our spiritual path. Let’s say that our lives are reasonably satisfying and that we are doing reasonably well, but we have had some serious bumps along the way. Can we always find a tangible blessing even from difficulties long past? My answer is that spiritual law applies in every instance and so yes, there is always a blessing.

Here is an example that might help. My daughter was born into a dysfunctional home with a lot of strife and upset. I divorced her mom before she was in preschool and unfortunately there was a lot of uncertainty and chaos in her day to day life from a very early age. My ex and I shared custody so there was a lot of logistical detail and inherent unpredictability in her childhood. We did not agree on many things and nobody could predict how the balance of power would pan out on any given decision. Things that should be happy celebrations were fraught with trouble. She played soccer like many little girls. Her mom and dad would come to the games and she never knew if there would be a humiliating spat between them. Her soccer team had a pizza party at the end of the season- where should she sit, with her mom or with her dad? She was the first of her group of friends to have divorced parents, so no one knew how to navigate getting permission to go places or to have sleepovers. When she started dating life became even more complex. The holidays were inordinately complicated- and not just on the emotional front. As she got older; juggling multiple holiday events became annual fare for my daughter as she was torn between separate family schedules.

I could go on and on about the problems my daughter faced growing up- I do not want to minimize here, but I think you get the point. As you may be aware, many people do spend a lot of energy complaining about their childhood. (I should know, I spent years in therapy complaining about my own childhood). Here is the blessing. A few years ago, my daughter got her picture in the LA Times. My daughter works in live theater and you might think she is an up and coming actress or singer, but no, she is a stage manager. She deals with chaos and prima donnas in a calm and centered fashion. She is incredibly organized and able to navigate a myriad of dysfunctions in every show. In the LA Times photo; she is sitting at a table in a production meeting taking notes. She is in the background; some famous director is in the center of the shot. For each show, my daughter is the one that compiles a binder of all that is to happen in the production. She organizes the details of the whole production company, interfacing with the costume designers, the prop shop, the musicians and performers and the house managers and all the rest of the creative staff. She operates on split second timing for each scene change and each lighting cue and sound effect and so forth. The complexity is amazing, and utterly does not faze her in the least- because compared to what she grew up with, this is calm and manageable.

My daughter is really good at her job because of the skills she learned as a little girl in making order out of chaos. She has turned a traumatic and difficult situation into a tangible blessing. This Thanksgiving, be grateful for those things you enjoy receiving. In addition, take some time to find the blessing in those things this past year that you did not like. It is profoundly transformative.

Affirmation: I am sincerely willing to find the blessing in everything.