Believe it or not, I first found out that "doldrums" was a real word a few years ago when I was at Unity Village taking classes. I grew up on the West Coast and we had the Santa Anna Winds that came up in the afternoons. We had the El Ninjo/La Ninja ocean currents that pulled cold water down from the Arctic or brought warm water up from Baja. We had Marine Inversion Layers. We also had micro climates galore, but we did not have a weather pattern called the doldrums.
At Unity Village I learned that in certain regions in the South and Midwest there were times in the summer when the air became stiflingly hot, humid and still so that it is almost deprived of sufficient oxygen to comfortably breathe. One day I was walking to class and it was hot and muggy and I was having trouble breathing as I walked and someone explained that it was the doldrums. Prior to that moment, I thought the doldrums was a nautical term that described the absence of trade winds such that sailing ships would be stranded for days or weeks on the high sea waiting for the wind to pick up. I also knew that in colloquial usage, "The summer doldrums" or "having in the doldrums" referred to that period toward the very end of summer vacation when all the fun had leached out of summer and we were waiting for school to resume in the fall.
As I write at the very end of August, it seems appropriate to see how the doldrums fit in with the theme of prosperity. I have generally understood the doldrums to involve a state of listlessness, inactivity and stagnation. Emotionally it feels despondent and energetically it feels like being in a slump. On the surface, this seems the exact opposite of prosperity consciousness which for most people feels vibrant, expansive and exciting. So, how does a concept like the doldrums, exist in an abundant and prosperous universe.
In nature, there are times of great expansion (typically spring) and times of dormancy ( typically winter). In understanding our experience of our prosperity it is important to incorporate these concepts as energetic fields in our own being. Prosperity consciousness is not some frantic, manic or hyper mind set. It does include time for direct action, it also includes times of waiting and times of indirect action. They key is to harmonize our actions with our energy flow so that we create synergy. I recall one sage teacher suggesting to me that the optimum way to live life was to reel in what was heading towards us and reel out that was heading away from us.
These ebbs and flows of energy and enthusiasm are all around us. Popular music goes through crazes where one type of song is all the rage and then a few years later the same type of music (or performer) is passe'. Certain books are hugely topical for a very short period and then practicably unsellable afterwards. Clothing styles are also subject to fads where a specific look is "in" one season and "out" the next year. Nothing can be done to change this, and so within the context of prosperity consciousness we are best served by going with the current that surrounds us anyway.
Here is a real life example of how I efficiently created synergy during a slack time. When I was in private practice as a bankruptcy attorney, there were typically two very slow periods, one in August when all the Judges, clients and other lawyers seemed to all be on vacation and the other around the Christmas holidays when Judges were on holiday and clients were shopping and spending. There was no realistic way to get any productive work done during this period. Instead, I would use these two slack periods to catch up on all my office filing and wrap up all the other non urgent paperwork that I tended to shunt aside during peak periods. Thus, I often looked forward to these two slack periods so that I could get my office caught up.
If we do not align ourselves with the energetic flow then we often create conflict or manifest exhaustion from going against our natural rhythm. Years ago, I used to get together with a group of River Guides and we would run cooperative trips. Most of the other guides lived near the river, while I lived a good 3 1/2 hours away from the river. On every trip, I used to push to get on the river, push to get lunch set up and then over with so we could get back on the river and then push to get off the river at the take out and so forth. I was focused on my long dive home and not on harmonizing with the energy and needs of the other guides who wanted a much more relaxed experience. We did not have overt conflict over it, but on the way home I would be frustrated and by the time I arrived home I would be exhausted rather than relaxed from a wonderful day on the river.
When we find ourselves listless and de-energized we need to determine if this is just a natural phase of the doldrums or is this the onset of depression. One way to evaluate this is to see if there is authentic action for us to do that we are postponing. If we are procrastinating on genuinely productive work, then perhaps this is a symptom of some underlying emotional current that needs to be addressed. On the other hand, we may be in an organic slack period where there is nothing directly helpful for us to do except wait and relax. In these natural slack times there will always be something useful for us to do, but it will not be so directly tied to whatever project we are focused on. Maybe we take a day off and go hike in the mountains or walk along the ocean. Maybe it is time to put everything aside and just get caught up on our gardening or art projects. Perhaps it is the right moment to organize other areas of our life, like getting the garage straightened up or the car cleaned and tuned up. These are indirect ways of keeping up momentum without trying to force situations.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Kayacking and the Three Levels of Awareness
The experience of abundance and prosperity in our lives occurs only in the present moment; however, the present moment is made up of many layers of awareness. If we want to enjoy prosperity then it helps to be conscious of how prosperity is manifested in our mind.
Spending several days kayaking on the river helped me see this more clearly and may provide a good backdrop for you as well. Running an actual stretch of rapid whitewater well is an exhilarating and satisfying experience of being one with nature and one with the moment. Each instant presents a moment of decision in which to adjust to the conditions on the river. There is a perfect balance between action and pausing, between flowing and powering through, between resting and exerting. There is an exquisite joy in manifesting the mind-body connection instantaneously, over and over again. It is near nirvana to make and remake my karma, millisecond by millisecond, as I adjust back into perfect balance and absolute center amidst the ebbs and flows of the river. At this level of awareness I am fully in the present moment and my heart fills with unlimited joy.
And yet, in all that present moment joy, I am always both fully in the present instant and aware of the line I am setting up my kayak for my run through the next set of rocks. In white water kayaking, particularly in a highly technical (complex and challenging) section of river, it is vital to choose a line that presents an opening to a great run. Choosing the wrong line, or misreading the water, or focusing too much on the present moment and ignoring the overall longer-range trends in the river impact the results, often in a dramatic way.
Thus, I suggest that running a stretch of white water rapids requires a combination of being present in the instant, being present in the near moment and planning for the future. All three are essential and simultaneous. Overlooking or ignoring any one of these aspects of kayaking will lead to a rocky experience. We need to be on the right river, going the right direction and in the right place and only by being fully aware of all of these dynamics in the same instant can we be fully present. The same is true in looking at our general prosperity consciousness. To be sure, there is no one “right” anything, just as there is no “wrong” anything. I use this phrase here to connote the optimum in the context of your goals, or the ideal in terms of your values or the optimum in relationship to your needs.
Here are three examples that illustrate this point: The first day that Debbie and I kayaked this summer, we did not get onto the river itself until after 4 pm. We did not know how long the trip on the river would take and were a little concerned about being on the river after dark. As our trip progressed, there was, in the back of our awareness, a little unease and a sense of urgency. We both felt a need to push a little on the flat stretches and be extra cautious not to get hung up in the shallow water and not to get flipped in the white water. We could be present in the instant as long as we kept in mind the physical fact that evening was approaching. Moving along at a good clip and preferring to stay as dry as possible due to the choice we’d made to set off when we did, was a part of our present moment experience.
On another trip many years ago, we left a car at the takeout some ten miles from the put-in. This would seem to make for an easy day of kayaking, but we did not take into account the distinction between river miles and road miles and the moderate pace of the river we were on. After an hour or two of winding along the river it was obvious we would never make it to the takeout site in time, (We pulled out near a house along the highway, used the cell phone that Debbie brought ( as part of her preparations) and called for help to come get us and drive us to our car). In this example, we were headed for an experience we did not want and thus headed in the wrong direction, (we needed to head to shore rather than keep paddling downstream).
On my very first whitewater kayaking trip, a friend took me on a river that was way too advanced for my skill level and I did not have sufficient cold weather gear. It was easily one of the most miserable days of my life because I tipped over within the first few feet of whitewater and swam in the icy cold water time and time again throughout the day. I was nearly numb from the cold. I was clearly on the wrong river, in terms of my skill level at the time, and the attire I was wearing given the temperature of the water. This is an example of being on the wrong river due to my lack of preparation and awareness.
The point of these three specific kayaking examples is that our present moment is always colored by the ongoing direction we are headed and the pre-planning (or lack thereof) we have made for our success. In each moment we want to be in the right (optimum) place, heading the right (ideal) direction and on the right (best) river.
Life is a journey that unfolds moment by moment in a sequence, just like a river is a flow of continuous particles of water traveling downstream. It is always true that our experience of prosperity is a choice, but at the same time we experience our own karma from the choices and actions we have already made. The decisions we make now, or the choices we avoid making now, all impact the flow in our life downstream.
If we put in on a river that is too difficult for us to navigate we are going to have a tough time when we reach the rapids. If we do not bring the proper safety gear we may have a very regrettable experience. In actual application, that means that sometimes I may choose a wide and relatively flat river to float so that I can enjoy the calm water and relax for a while as I drift down stream. If this is what I want to experience, then I must set this in motion by choosing a stretch of river that meets my need to float. If I choose a highly technical stretch of white water when I want to float, there is a mismatch between my intentions and my actions and I will be aware of them in the present moment.
It is, in both my experience and my opinion, a fallacy offered by some New Thought and Prosperity teachers that we can experience bliss moment by moment without being aware of the larger context of our life. We need to prepare for our optimum outcome be getting clear on our values, purpose, and the experience we want. If not, then we are in denial if we think ambiguous foresight will produce optimum results.
In any fully-present-moment experience, I am open to the awareness of what is momentarily in front of me so that I can navigate joyously that next section of my life smoothly. Ease and grace on the river are greatly amplified when I take a moment and set myself up for success for the next undertaking. Chaos and discomfort are sometimes the immediate result when I fail to make desirable adjustments, apparent in the moment, that increase the likelihood of success in the long run.
In terms of prosperity consciousness, the choices we make now set up the situations we will face in the near-term future and will impact our long-term future. If we study prosperity principles now, we set ourselves up for more prosperity in the near term and increase the chances of experiencing abundance in the long run. If we study something else, or decide to stay home and watch TV, then we need to be aware in that moment of the impact that choice makes on the next set of choices we will face.
When I was in college, as a Business Major, I once took a class in Italian Film because the time slot was perfect for my schedule, I needed a liberal arts elective and I thought the class would be interesting and easy. It seemed to be an ideal choice. However, I did not realize that it was a class only for Italian majors. Every word spoken in class, and in the films shown, was in Italian. My Italian goes no further than spaghetti and pizza. I stopped attending a few weeks after I realized the mistake and considered myself fortunate to receive a D+ grade.
I did not feel prosperous having taken the class as it dragged my grade point average down and it was a total waste of my tuition money. I did not experience joyous prosperity in that classroom experience because of the poor decisions I made leading up to that moment and no amount of mind treatment was going to change the fact that I did not prepare for an optimum outcome. Even though Italian Film was offered at the right time, it was the wrong class for me. I could have tried to be present to the joy in the moment and continued in the class, but it was not helping me in my long-term direction and pretending otherwise would not have resulted in acceptance of the moment. Instead my awareness of the moment would have been dulled by my denial of how remaining in the class impacted the rest of my choices.
One of our iconic and idealic images of someone being in the moment is the fly fisherman, casting his line into a beautiful pool of water on a remote scenic river. Trust me, he chose that river, and chose that spot, and chose the time of day and the fly that he was using and the waders he is wearing. A lot of practice went into that perfect cast of the fly. Not one aspect of his experience is random or accidental. The fly fisherman experiences bliss only to the extent that he is casting into the right spot with the right fly at the right time on the right river. So, in living a prosperous life, we are aware in each moment of the present moment, the near term moment and the long term moment. Our awareness includes being on the right river, heading the right direction and being in the right spot. This then is the full awareness that leads to true bliss.
Spending several days kayaking on the river helped me see this more clearly and may provide a good backdrop for you as well. Running an actual stretch of rapid whitewater well is an exhilarating and satisfying experience of being one with nature and one with the moment. Each instant presents a moment of decision in which to adjust to the conditions on the river. There is a perfect balance between action and pausing, between flowing and powering through, between resting and exerting. There is an exquisite joy in manifesting the mind-body connection instantaneously, over and over again. It is near nirvana to make and remake my karma, millisecond by millisecond, as I adjust back into perfect balance and absolute center amidst the ebbs and flows of the river. At this level of awareness I am fully in the present moment and my heart fills with unlimited joy.
And yet, in all that present moment joy, I am always both fully in the present instant and aware of the line I am setting up my kayak for my run through the next set of rocks. In white water kayaking, particularly in a highly technical (complex and challenging) section of river, it is vital to choose a line that presents an opening to a great run. Choosing the wrong line, or misreading the water, or focusing too much on the present moment and ignoring the overall longer-range trends in the river impact the results, often in a dramatic way.
Thus, I suggest that running a stretch of white water rapids requires a combination of being present in the instant, being present in the near moment and planning for the future. All three are essential and simultaneous. Overlooking or ignoring any one of these aspects of kayaking will lead to a rocky experience. We need to be on the right river, going the right direction and in the right place and only by being fully aware of all of these dynamics in the same instant can we be fully present. The same is true in looking at our general prosperity consciousness. To be sure, there is no one “right” anything, just as there is no “wrong” anything. I use this phrase here to connote the optimum in the context of your goals, or the ideal in terms of your values or the optimum in relationship to your needs.
Here are three examples that illustrate this point: The first day that Debbie and I kayaked this summer, we did not get onto the river itself until after 4 pm. We did not know how long the trip on the river would take and were a little concerned about being on the river after dark. As our trip progressed, there was, in the back of our awareness, a little unease and a sense of urgency. We both felt a need to push a little on the flat stretches and be extra cautious not to get hung up in the shallow water and not to get flipped in the white water. We could be present in the instant as long as we kept in mind the physical fact that evening was approaching. Moving along at a good clip and preferring to stay as dry as possible due to the choice we’d made to set off when we did, was a part of our present moment experience.
On another trip many years ago, we left a car at the takeout some ten miles from the put-in. This would seem to make for an easy day of kayaking, but we did not take into account the distinction between river miles and road miles and the moderate pace of the river we were on. After an hour or two of winding along the river it was obvious we would never make it to the takeout site in time, (We pulled out near a house along the highway, used the cell phone that Debbie brought ( as part of her preparations) and called for help to come get us and drive us to our car). In this example, we were headed for an experience we did not want and thus headed in the wrong direction, (we needed to head to shore rather than keep paddling downstream).
On my very first whitewater kayaking trip, a friend took me on a river that was way too advanced for my skill level and I did not have sufficient cold weather gear. It was easily one of the most miserable days of my life because I tipped over within the first few feet of whitewater and swam in the icy cold water time and time again throughout the day. I was nearly numb from the cold. I was clearly on the wrong river, in terms of my skill level at the time, and the attire I was wearing given the temperature of the water. This is an example of being on the wrong river due to my lack of preparation and awareness.
The point of these three specific kayaking examples is that our present moment is always colored by the ongoing direction we are headed and the pre-planning (or lack thereof) we have made for our success. In each moment we want to be in the right (optimum) place, heading the right (ideal) direction and on the right (best) river.
Life is a journey that unfolds moment by moment in a sequence, just like a river is a flow of continuous particles of water traveling downstream. It is always true that our experience of prosperity is a choice, but at the same time we experience our own karma from the choices and actions we have already made. The decisions we make now, or the choices we avoid making now, all impact the flow in our life downstream.
If we put in on a river that is too difficult for us to navigate we are going to have a tough time when we reach the rapids. If we do not bring the proper safety gear we may have a very regrettable experience. In actual application, that means that sometimes I may choose a wide and relatively flat river to float so that I can enjoy the calm water and relax for a while as I drift down stream. If this is what I want to experience, then I must set this in motion by choosing a stretch of river that meets my need to float. If I choose a highly technical stretch of white water when I want to float, there is a mismatch between my intentions and my actions and I will be aware of them in the present moment.
It is, in both my experience and my opinion, a fallacy offered by some New Thought and Prosperity teachers that we can experience bliss moment by moment without being aware of the larger context of our life. We need to prepare for our optimum outcome be getting clear on our values, purpose, and the experience we want. If not, then we are in denial if we think ambiguous foresight will produce optimum results.
In any fully-present-moment experience, I am open to the awareness of what is momentarily in front of me so that I can navigate joyously that next section of my life smoothly. Ease and grace on the river are greatly amplified when I take a moment and set myself up for success for the next undertaking. Chaos and discomfort are sometimes the immediate result when I fail to make desirable adjustments, apparent in the moment, that increase the likelihood of success in the long run.
In terms of prosperity consciousness, the choices we make now set up the situations we will face in the near-term future and will impact our long-term future. If we study prosperity principles now, we set ourselves up for more prosperity in the near term and increase the chances of experiencing abundance in the long run. If we study something else, or decide to stay home and watch TV, then we need to be aware in that moment of the impact that choice makes on the next set of choices we will face.
When I was in college, as a Business Major, I once took a class in Italian Film because the time slot was perfect for my schedule, I needed a liberal arts elective and I thought the class would be interesting and easy. It seemed to be an ideal choice. However, I did not realize that it was a class only for Italian majors. Every word spoken in class, and in the films shown, was in Italian. My Italian goes no further than spaghetti and pizza. I stopped attending a few weeks after I realized the mistake and considered myself fortunate to receive a D+ grade.
I did not feel prosperous having taken the class as it dragged my grade point average down and it was a total waste of my tuition money. I did not experience joyous prosperity in that classroom experience because of the poor decisions I made leading up to that moment and no amount of mind treatment was going to change the fact that I did not prepare for an optimum outcome. Even though Italian Film was offered at the right time, it was the wrong class for me. I could have tried to be present to the joy in the moment and continued in the class, but it was not helping me in my long-term direction and pretending otherwise would not have resulted in acceptance of the moment. Instead my awareness of the moment would have been dulled by my denial of how remaining in the class impacted the rest of my choices.
One of our iconic and idealic images of someone being in the moment is the fly fisherman, casting his line into a beautiful pool of water on a remote scenic river. Trust me, he chose that river, and chose that spot, and chose the time of day and the fly that he was using and the waders he is wearing. A lot of practice went into that perfect cast of the fly. Not one aspect of his experience is random or accidental. The fly fisherman experiences bliss only to the extent that he is casting into the right spot with the right fly at the right time on the right river. So, in living a prosperous life, we are aware in each moment of the present moment, the near term moment and the long term moment. Our awareness includes being on the right river, heading the right direction and being in the right spot. This then is the full awareness that leads to true bliss.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Uncovering our authentic Self
We offer a system of proven spiritual tools that if applied systematically will inevitably result in your freedom from economic insecurity as well as your living a joyous, meaningful and prosperous life.
However, there is one thing that will undermine all of these teachings and which is guaranteed to result in your life being miserable and impoverished. That one thing is trying to be someone you are not. Let me explain by way of an example.
Many years ago when I had just begun my spiritual path, (after perhaps 5-6 years of dedicated work), I thought of myself as a monk. I did not then actually know what a monk really was, but I liked the idea of this and began calling myself a monk. However, a man who did know me confronted me when he heard me refer to myself as a monk and said words to the effect that I would never be a monk. He was emphatic almost to the point of outrage.
I have since met Tibetan Monks, Buddhist Monks, Hindu Monks, Zen Monks and a number of other monks, and my friend was right. I will just never be a monk. You see at the time that I was calling myself a monk, I really was a fierce and ruthless trial attorney- I was a seasoned and battle hardened litigator. Yes, I was on a spiritual path and eventually I would become a skilled and successful mediator and then a minister, but I was never going to become a monk. I was a seeker, a mystic, a maverick and perhaps a heretic, but not a monk.
The point is that if I had continued to try to be a monk I would not have been true to myself. I would have either been a spiritual fraud or a miserable failure. There is nothing wrong with being a monk, but it was not me and it was not my path. It was not authentic to my true nature. My friend who saw me so clearly as never being a monk was acting with ruthless compassion when he spoke up and confronted me. I have always been grateful for his courage to speak up. His words saved me from learning the hard way that I must be true to myself if I want joyous prosperity. Me wanting to be a monk was never going to result in my inner peace and fulfillment but me being a mystic and seeker has lead me to a life filled with joy, mystery, growth and blessings.
It has been my observation that one of the common ways that people fall into the trap of trying to be someone they are not is when they are trying to live out their understanding of the dreams/expectations of someone else. In my case, I had a girlfriend during the time I posed as a monk, who saw herself as a yogi. In order for her to be a yogi, she apparently projected that she needed a partner that was a monk. To my recollection she never said this out loud, but I certainly picked it up and ran with it because of my desire to please her and to be her partner on the spiritual path.
When someone we love wants us to fill the role that they need filled, our desire to please them can superficially supersede our own soul yearning. We see this so often when a parent wants their offspring to be a doctor or lawyer. They send them off to law school or medical school but right before the bar exam (or right before their medical boards) the child realizes that they are completely in the wrong field and are only doing it to please their parents. This type of thing happens all too often, as in youth sports or in
It is very hard for the child to see this because their very self image is often dependent on pleasing their parents. When I was a teenager, my father projected that he would soon need a manager for the carpet/flooring sales division in his business. When I graduated from college I became a carpet salesman. The first seven or eight years of my career were to get approval and recognition from my father. It has been hard work for me to discover my own authentic self. I have had to be very intentional about it and make many mis steps along the way. If you find that you have given up a part of yourself to fulfill someone else’s dream or needs, be fierce in breaking the bond and be gentle with yourself in allowing yourself to grieve the losses inherent in this part of your journey.
A variant of powerful parent child dynamic is the overly rebellious or defiant child. They too temporarily loose their own way by defining themselves in conflict with their parents and the society in which they were raised. They are not able to read their own soul’s yearnings because it is overshadowed with their need to individuate against their parents. In this case, their authentic self gets lost because they are so attached to not being like their parents. It is somewhat ironic to see so many of the Hippie era youth now living very conventional middle class lives. They have become the very thing that they were rebelling against.
Another common pitfall is to continually wish for a life that is not really our own. I know someone who is very self reliant and competent and a very hard worker. She is organized and productive and forceful and a mature woman. She keeps wanting to be seen as a princess. Moreover, she wants to be seen as an elegant princess. (In her belief structure princesses are meant to be rescued and cared for, meant to enjoy beauty and elegance, and most importantly be adored and sought after for their grace, beauty and innocence). But unfortunately, in my judgment (and by her own admission) she is not really princess material: she does not have the sense of entitlement that the princess archetype requires. There is nothing wrong with being a princess if that is your true nature, but trying to be treated like a princess when it is not your true nature is never going to result in the experience of lasting joy or success.
Instead of holding on to an image of our selves that is not authentic, the path to a sense of welling being, inner peace and contentment will have to come from discovering an authentic self and then growing accordingly. To manifest an authentic self in real time will be work, but it is work that will energize and empower each step along the way.
There are rare times when someone else can see the gold within in us the way that Michelangelo could see the statue within a block of granite. All he needed to do was chip away the granite that was not the statue and he would have a masterpiece. They key here, of course, is that Michelangelo had the gift of vision. His eye could see in stark relief that which appeared to be hidden to the ordinary eye.
Most people have not manifested this level of insight, nor do they have the disinterested objectivity to be flawless in their seeing. The path to uncovering an authentic self requires rigorous honesty and self awareness. So far as I know, there are no short cuts. As best I can tell, it is the most interesting and compelling spiritual work that we can do. It is also the most rewarding and the most painfully humbling.
We teach that when you are being your authentic self, you cannot fail- your success if guaranteed. You will make mistakes along the way of course and learn from them with ease and grace- at least that is what I keep telling myself each time I make another mistake.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Reflections on kayaking, life, and prosperity
Six recent splendid days of whitewater kayaking have brought to mind some analogous thoughts about life and prosperity.
Rarely have I seen anyone kayak alone. There are a number of possible reasons; it is probably too dangerous to kayak without any back up on the river, logistically two cars are needed to run the shuttle from the put-in and take-out points and people tend to be social and enjoy shared experiences.
Likewise, I have rarely seen anyone prosper alone. Teamwork and companionship are powerful levers that provide back up, logistical assistance and emotional/social support. They may not be needed in economic flat water but they are essential in turbulent times.
A good kayak run requires harmonizing both the whitewater experience and the accompanying flat water. Both are inevitably present, at least they are at the skill level on the rivers that I kayak. For many years I thrived in the whitewater and was bored and restless in the flat water. In truth, I was insufferable in the flat water. My attitude ruined the trip for both myself and anyone accompanying me. I have learned that both sections of river require my attentive presence in order for the trip to be successful. While in the rapids I focus on the current and running the river and when in the flat water I focus on the natural beauty and majesty of the river.
In the same way, a good run in life requires us to harmonize between periods of high turbulence and times of calm. Both are inevitably going to be present in our lifetime. Being fully aware and present in each moment is crucial to an abiding sense of joy and prosperity. True prosperity transcends mere results and derives from enjoying life's journey itself. Finding the blessing in each moment is key.
Living life on life's terms means not trying to avoid any turbulence that may come our way. Avoidance is a symptom of a fear-based existence. Turbulence is a time of change that can be a blessing when embraced. Nothing is better at helping us get clear on our values and their priority. A shift in our status quo can motivate us to develop skills far outside our comfort zone and become open to new ideas we may have never explored. It is in times of turbulence that many of us find or become closer to a higher power because we are called to, and experience a new level of faith.
Stirring up trouble during periods of calm does not often lead to growth- it leads to conflict and drama. Organic chaos is integral to the evolutionary process, self-generated chaos is often self-sabotage.
Times of calm stability are times to savor the good already in your life. This is when you have the energy to deepen your friendships and expand your life in a more manageable and organized fashion. It is a place from which to give back and build a reservoir of good karma and support for times when you are in spiritual receivership.
Finally, it is usually desirable that the rivers that we kayak and those we whom we choose to run them share a common skill level. If we run rivers which are too difficult, we tend to experience disaster. If we take trips on rivers that do not challenge us, then we get bored and find something more engaging to occupy us. A river with just the right degree of difficulty for us brings out the best overall experience: exhilaration and confidence coupled with safety and success.
The same principle also applies to those with whom we journey on the river. Compatibility in skill level leads to a positive shared experience while incompatibility leads to chaos, conflict or disaster. Imagine going down a river that is too difficult for your confidence level with someone who is an adrenaline junky and impatient every time you want to pause and catch your breath. Conversely, think about how it would be to go kayaking with someone who is so timid and out of their depth that each little ripple is met with anguish and a desire to turn back. (It is really hard to turn back on a river trip once you are on the water.) The enjoyment of a good river trip arises from within, however for me what makes a great trip is the blending of my skill and interest level with those on the river with me, as well as from the overall stretch of water that we choose to run.
This is true in terms of your life and prosperity as well. In the end, as the Beatles said, "...the love you take/ Is equal to the love you make". We are going to attract into our life people who are at about the same overall level of consciousness that we have at the time. We all are going to outgrow some friends, relationships or jobs and some friends, relationships and jobs are going to outgrow us. Rather than blaming others for this, or in some other way finding fault, it is a wiser course to bless the time shared with them and trust that the love you received is equal to the love you gave.
Rarely have I seen anyone kayak alone. There are a number of possible reasons; it is probably too dangerous to kayak without any back up on the river, logistically two cars are needed to run the shuttle from the put-in and take-out points and people tend to be social and enjoy shared experiences.
Likewise, I have rarely seen anyone prosper alone. Teamwork and companionship are powerful levers that provide back up, logistical assistance and emotional/social support. They may not be needed in economic flat water but they are essential in turbulent times.
A good kayak run requires harmonizing both the whitewater experience and the accompanying flat water. Both are inevitably present, at least they are at the skill level on the rivers that I kayak. For many years I thrived in the whitewater and was bored and restless in the flat water. In truth, I was insufferable in the flat water. My attitude ruined the trip for both myself and anyone accompanying me. I have learned that both sections of river require my attentive presence in order for the trip to be successful. While in the rapids I focus on the current and running the river and when in the flat water I focus on the natural beauty and majesty of the river.
In the same way, a good run in life requires us to harmonize between periods of high turbulence and times of calm. Both are inevitably going to be present in our lifetime. Being fully aware and present in each moment is crucial to an abiding sense of joy and prosperity. True prosperity transcends mere results and derives from enjoying life's journey itself. Finding the blessing in each moment is key.
Living life on life's terms means not trying to avoid any turbulence that may come our way. Avoidance is a symptom of a fear-based existence. Turbulence is a time of change that can be a blessing when embraced. Nothing is better at helping us get clear on our values and their priority. A shift in our status quo can motivate us to develop skills far outside our comfort zone and become open to new ideas we may have never explored. It is in times of turbulence that many of us find or become closer to a higher power because we are called to, and experience a new level of faith.
Stirring up trouble during periods of calm does not often lead to growth- it leads to conflict and drama. Organic chaos is integral to the evolutionary process, self-generated chaos is often self-sabotage.
Times of calm stability are times to savor the good already in your life. This is when you have the energy to deepen your friendships and expand your life in a more manageable and organized fashion. It is a place from which to give back and build a reservoir of good karma and support for times when you are in spiritual receivership.
Finally, it is usually desirable that the rivers that we kayak and those we whom we choose to run them share a common skill level. If we run rivers which are too difficult, we tend to experience disaster. If we take trips on rivers that do not challenge us, then we get bored and find something more engaging to occupy us. A river with just the right degree of difficulty for us brings out the best overall experience: exhilaration and confidence coupled with safety and success.
The same principle also applies to those with whom we journey on the river. Compatibility in skill level leads to a positive shared experience while incompatibility leads to chaos, conflict or disaster. Imagine going down a river that is too difficult for your confidence level with someone who is an adrenaline junky and impatient every time you want to pause and catch your breath. Conversely, think about how it would be to go kayaking with someone who is so timid and out of their depth that each little ripple is met with anguish and a desire to turn back. (It is really hard to turn back on a river trip once you are on the water.) The enjoyment of a good river trip arises from within, however for me what makes a great trip is the blending of my skill and interest level with those on the river with me, as well as from the overall stretch of water that we choose to run.
This is true in terms of your life and prosperity as well. In the end, as the Beatles said, "...the love you take/ Is equal to the love you make". We are going to attract into our life people who are at about the same overall level of consciousness that we have at the time. We all are going to outgrow some friends, relationships or jobs and some friends, relationships and jobs are going to outgrow us. Rather than blaming others for this, or in some other way finding fault, it is a wiser course to bless the time shared with them and trust that the love you received is equal to the love you gave.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Turn Turn Turn
This lyric from the song “Turn Turn Turn”, made famous by the Byrds and adapted from the Old Testament Book of Ecclesiastes, keeps resonating in my mind as I prepare to do something that I have never tried in my entire working career. I am going to take a three week sabbatical.
Up until now, I have always thought forward momentum came through working harder, longer, with more focus. The idea of Ease and Grace was just another way of saying to work smarter. The possibility of making forward progress in any endeavor while taking time away from work was simply beyond my comprehension. However, I have long ago passed the time when my level of physical and emotional exhaustion could be remedied by simple spiritual treatments. I am facing a level of burnout that simply leaves me no choice but to adopt a spiritual practice that is utterly foreign to my typical way of being in the world.
I love my work. I love the people I work with. I love the possibilities that are unfolding right now in so many areas. And yet, I need a break. My fear is that if I take a break I will interrupt the flow and stem the momentum. I have held this fear and made decisions based on this fear over and over again.
When I first graduated from college I sold carpeting. The #1 salesman for the company that I worked for had a heart attack and survived. His doctor told him to do nothing more stressful than paint. I remember the frustration of the sales manager who was annoyed about losing his top producer. He tried to convince the salesman to come back to work by offering to let him work part-time. The salesman said no and the sales manager was annoyed.
This story reminds me of the conflict in values that comes up for those of us who are focused on production and results rather than quality of life or balance in our life. We keep saying that we will take on just this one more project. We think that things will ease up next week, or next month or after we complete this next task. We are measuring the value of our life by our production. There is another way to look at life. I have never seen it, but I am going to experience it over these next few weeks.
If you are like me, then we both are so used to experiencing life from a driven perspective that we think we always have one more push. And this leads to exhaustion, hypertension and burnout. It leads to an unbalanced life of striving rather than allowing. That #1 salesman taught me a lesson. If I keep pushing and become the #1 at anything I focus on, there is also a cost, that I lose everything else that is dear to me.
A sabbatical is very different from a vacation. I see a vacation as an opportunity to recreate and relax. It typically includes lots of activity and enjoyment that is not work, but it is still an action-oriented endeavor. It is not an experience of going inward and reflecting. It does not encompass much stillness A sabbatical, on the other hand, is probably hard work. It is just not external results-oriented work, it is interior work. It is the work of the soul seeker taking time to listen deeply to the recesses of the heart.
A sabbatical is not taking time away from my spiritual work- it is approaching my spiritual work from a different direction. It is removing the busy distractions of the day-to-day logistics and details of my work so that I am free to go deeper into my heart and soul. At least that is what I am postulating.
So I am taking time to see what renewal feels like. I am taking time to see what it feels like to not work and not feel driven to do more. I am going to experience faith that there is a Higher Power that can do what I cannot do: allow momentum to build with me doing nothing overt to make things happen. There is a season. A time for rest. A time for work. And a time for every purpose under heaven.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Our Birthright is Joy because we live in an Abundant Universe
We live in a wildly rich, diverse and abundant universe. Yet it seems that so many of us do not experience this opulence in our lives and instead lead lives of dreary desperation. If joy and abundance are our birthright and yet many of us are not experiencing either in their life, then simply acquiring more material goods would seem to be the solution. But in case after case we find that no matter what the material condition of the person, the sense of abundance and joy is fleeting and the sense of lack is pervasive. This experience of lack has several contributing causes and we will examine some of the key issues and then suggest a remedy.
First, the foundational field that we are born into and grow up in creates a “race consciousness” or embedded theology that is the deep underpinning of all that we come to believe. Since it is our thoughts that determine our experience, the combination of our embedded theology and our conscious affirmative thoughts are the prime factors for our present day quality of life.
For most of us, our subtle memory of our childhood culture is laced with the vibration of not enough. The prevalent childhood memory for most of us is not usually joy and abundance. Rather, it is the trauma of not enough that registers most deeply for many. Current research studies have shown that it takes about 10 good impressions to overcome one negative impression. This explains why even the best parents end up with kids that often feel that they were not special enough, not loved enough and so forth. Couple this with the impact of the Great Depression on the scarcity thinking of the whole country in the 1930’s and you can comprehend the deep resonance of not enough that weaves its way into our subconscious.
The overlay of Madison Avenue helps cement the race conscious idea that we are not enough. Advertising stimulates and reinforces the belief that something is missing and that we need it to be ok. Madison Avenue advertisers make money doing one thing brilliantly and that is stimulating demand for products. They accomplish this through print, radio, TV, internet and every other manner imaginable (Billboards, product placement in films, display ads on public transportation, sports stadium naming rights… the list goes on and on).
The News Media also play a part in reinforcing our underlying consciousness of anxiety and fear that accompany a feeling of not enough. The 24 hour news cycle is predominantly focused on crisis, drama, problems and conflict. TV, radio, Newspaper and Internet News sites rely on our reaction to trouble to draw audience and customers. They exploit the underlying unconscious belief that there is not enough to generate “news” that hooks people into thinking that they need more details and more information and so forth.
Finally, many politicians play a role in sustaining the cultural idea that we are not able to thrive abundantly. They get elected by enticing people with “lack thinking” to vote for them by exploiting the underlying idea that they need something and cannot get it through their own efforts. These politicians then promise solutions that do not require much effort or contribution by the voters, which creates a cycle of not enoughness. They campaign relentlessly in this manner on issue after issue as they cobble together a coalition to reach an electable majority. This idea that we are better off with government help tends to lead to an ever greater and greater dependence on government solutions.
Yet, in the end, it is only through shifting our own consciousness that we find a way out of this culturally embedded perspective that spirals away from our joy and abundance and instead leaves us with a life of anxiety and insecurity. This brings us to the practical side of spiritual teachings and the complex intersection of spiritual law, our core beliefs and strategies to get our needs met.
More material goods will not bring a sense of abundance and joy. A mere 50 years ago, most families did not have an automatic dishwasher, self defrosting freezer, micro wave, color television (much less a wireless remote on their big flat screen color TV) and so forth. Now many families have multiple cell phones, I pods, personal computers, refrigerators with built in ice makers and all the other fixings. Yet, overall the levels of satisfaction and happiness have not changed.
First, the foundational field that we are born into and grow up in creates a “race consciousness” or embedded theology that is the deep underpinning of all that we come to believe. Since it is our thoughts that determine our experience, the combination of our embedded theology and our conscious affirmative thoughts are the prime factors for our present day quality of life.
For most of us, our subtle memory of our childhood culture is laced with the vibration of not enough. The prevalent childhood memory for most of us is not usually joy and abundance. Rather, it is the trauma of not enough that registers most deeply for many. Current research studies have shown that it takes about 10 good impressions to overcome one negative impression. This explains why even the best parents end up with kids that often feel that they were not special enough, not loved enough and so forth. Couple this with the impact of the Great Depression on the scarcity thinking of the whole country in the 1930’s and you can comprehend the deep resonance of not enough that weaves its way into our subconscious.
The overlay of Madison Avenue helps cement the race conscious idea that we are not enough. Advertising stimulates and reinforces the belief that something is missing and that we need it to be ok. Madison Avenue advertisers make money doing one thing brilliantly and that is stimulating demand for products. They accomplish this through print, radio, TV, internet and every other manner imaginable (Billboards, product placement in films, display ads on public transportation, sports stadium naming rights… the list goes on and on).
The News Media also play a part in reinforcing our underlying consciousness of anxiety and fear that accompany a feeling of not enough. The 24 hour news cycle is predominantly focused on crisis, drama, problems and conflict. TV, radio, Newspaper and Internet News sites rely on our reaction to trouble to draw audience and customers. They exploit the underlying unconscious belief that there is not enough to generate “news” that hooks people into thinking that they need more details and more information and so forth.
Finally, many politicians play a role in sustaining the cultural idea that we are not able to thrive abundantly. They get elected by enticing people with “lack thinking” to vote for them by exploiting the underlying idea that they need something and cannot get it through their own efforts. These politicians then promise solutions that do not require much effort or contribution by the voters, which creates a cycle of not enoughness. They campaign relentlessly in this manner on issue after issue as they cobble together a coalition to reach an electable majority. This idea that we are better off with government help tends to lead to an ever greater and greater dependence on government solutions.
Yet, in the end, it is only through shifting our own consciousness that we find a way out of this culturally embedded perspective that spirals away from our joy and abundance and instead leaves us with a life of anxiety and insecurity. This brings us to the practical side of spiritual teachings and the complex intersection of spiritual law, our core beliefs and strategies to get our needs met.
More material goods will not bring a sense of abundance and joy. A mere 50 years ago, most families did not have an automatic dishwasher, self defrosting freezer, micro wave, color television (much less a wireless remote on their big flat screen color TV) and so forth. Now many families have multiple cell phones, I pods, personal computers, refrigerators with built in ice makers and all the other fixings. Yet, overall the levels of satisfaction and happiness have not changed.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The Joy of Surrender
I keep thinking about the idea that for each person and each situation there is a perfect balance between committed action and flowing with ease and grace.
There are several implications contained in this simple sentence. It seems to me that the most important is that committed action and flowing with ease and grace are presented as polar opposites which need to be balanced carefully by the wise seeker in order to manifest success. It seems that this is suggesting that if there is a perfect balance between committed action and ease and grace, then the more committed your actions are the less ease and grace you experience. The converse also seems implicit, that more ease and grace means that there less committed action.
The more I think about it, the less sure I am that this is true. In fact, the more I think about it, the opposite of this statement might be a more accurate statement of principle; that ease and grace appear only as a result of committed action. I am sure that I believe that half hearted actions taken with a lackadaisical intention lead only to mediocre results. Slackers may say they live with ease and grace but I doubt it. I think they live in a state of ambivalence and they inhabit a world devoid of success.
I can think of a few times where I felt ease and grace in my life that were coupled with success. I had spent many years learning and practicing the art of mediation. I had reached a level of skillful mastery. From this consciousness, I was able to facilitate high conflict situations to peaceful resolution with what appeared to be ease and grace. The ease and grace only showed up after many years of dedicated and consistent work on my part. I needed to learn the basics of mediation. I needed to develop the listening and speaking skills needed for success as well as the discernment of how to apply them.
These were the outer manifestations of deep inner work that was required to fully inhabit the spiritual principles of conflict resolution. In order to achieve this, I needed the willingness to heal many of my own inner conflicts. I needed to look deeply into my relationships and my failures in those relationships and develop empathy for those I had been close to and empathy for myself as well.
This brings me to the second implication in the idea that for each situation there is a perfect balance between committed action and ease and grace. That the only committed action that will inevitably lead to ease and grace is joyful surrender. This seems like a terrible a paradox. Until very recently I do not think I even considered that surrender was ever joyous. My only experience of surrender for many years was it occurred only when I was utterly worn down by repeated failure as a result of my committed actions. When I had nothing left, no energy or will, no reserves and no more ideas, then when I was faced with no other choice, I would surrender. At this juncture, I would be steeped in frustration and angry exhaustion. My moment of surrender would typically lead to a massive dose of humility and shame. I would feel grief and deep despair, even hopelessness over my failure to succeed through my determined plan of action.
But as I write this, I am aware that it was not my plan of action to become a gifted mediator. Instead, this idea literally came to me at a time when I was desperate and at the end of my rope. I was in counseling because my life was a mess. I was waiting in my car outside my therapist’s office trying to relax from another frazzled and frustrating day. My current romantic relationship was failing, my career was sinking and I had nowhere left to turn. Out of this nowhere a still small idea popped into my head that said I was a mediator. I did not even know what a mediator was, at that time I was a full bore, hard nosed litigator.
Yet this idea was so clear that I followed up on it immediately. I surrendered everything that I thought I knew about myself and my relationships and embarked on a path of learning to resolve conflicts with love rather than arguments or power. I began letting go of the image of the man I had become (hard nosed litigator) and began opening to the unknown man I was to become (peacemaker).
This moment of surrender was calm and peaceful but I am not sure if I saw it as joyous. The friction in my life at the time had exhausted me and the problems I had created did not dissolve immediately. But ease and grace entered my life in that moment. I found out that a once a year week long training for mediators began the very next Monday. I attended it. One thing opened up after another, not always the way I planned it. Not at all the way that I had hoped things would fall together, but in the end, looking back, I can see there has been a lot more ease and grace from that moment forward than there ever had been prior to my moment of surrender.
Here is a poem I came across by the Persian Mystic Hafez.
What is the difference between your experience of Existence and that of a Saint?
The Saint knows that the spiritual path is a sublime chess game with God.
And that the Beloved has just made such a fantastic move that the Saint is now continually tripping over with joy, and bursting out with laughter and saying "I surrender!"
Whereas, my dear, I am afraid you still think you have a thousand serious moves left.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)